Health

9 Things You Didn’t Learn In Sex Ed…But Probably Should Have

For many of us, Sex Ed wasn’t exactly ground breaking.

It is a brief (very, very brief) lesson that offers students (late primary school and early high school ages)  a basic understanding of the anatomy and physiology of our sexual organs.

Needless to say, the class is often outdated and rather useless.

10 Things You Didn't Learn In Sex Ed...But Probably Should HaveThe thing is…sex isn’t as ‘basic’ as these lessons.

How we feel, what we desire and what ‘turns us on’ is much more complex. We can’t always explain (or even understand) how our bodies react the way they do.  Not to mention, how to protect ourselves properly.  There is surely more to safe sex than knowing how to put a condom on a banana!

So, here are nine things that we probably didn’t learn in Sex Ed (but totally should have)!

9 Important Things That We Should Learn In Sex Ed

1. Female Masturbation

We’ve all heard the saying, ‘boys will be boys’ and ‘it’s natural’. We probably even watched an old-school cartoon about why it’s normal for boys to ‘masturbate’. But what about female masturbation?

Female masturbation is far less ‘talked’ about let alone…taught about!

Girls need to be reminded that female masturbation is okay…and also very, very normal!

Actually, masturbation is a great way for young ladies to learn about their bodies, learn self boundaries, expectations and develop some sort of sexual awareness.

Relationship Therapist & Sexologist Isiah McKimmie tells The Healthy Mummy:  “Masturbation is a normal, healthy human behaviour and is common for men and women. Self-pleasure shouldn’t been seen as a poor substitute for partnered sex, but a worthwhile sexual activity in itself,

Masturbation can have benefits such as stress relief, hormone release, but can also help women feel more comfortable with themselves and discover what they enjoy sexually.”

In case you didn’t already know, here are 10 things you need to know about your clitoris right now.

2. Wee After Sex

Yes, the after-sex cuddle is sometimes just as enjoyable as the sex itself. But, you will have to slink away at some point (within the first couple of hours) to have an after-sex wee.

Passing urination after intercourse helps to remove any bacteria that may have been inserted into the vagina during sex. These are the bacteria that can lead to Urinary tract infections (UTI’s)

NOT FUN!

3. Variety Of Birth Control

10 Things You Didn't Learn In Sex Ed...But Probably Should Have

Sex Education often only covers ‘condom use’ and the pill. Or, most favourably by a lot of schools (and parents) – abstinence.

While we would ALL LIKE to believe that our young teens won’t have sex until they well into their twenties (or even marriage), this isn’t always the case.

So, its imperative that our sex education classes cover all forms of contraception. Such as the IUD, injections, insertions, diaphragms – THE LOT!

4. Condoms Don’t Prevent All STI’s

Condoms are highly effective at preventing sexually transmitted infections (via fluid). While condom use should always be encouraged – it’s important for young people to also understand that they do not prevent 100% of all STI’s.

For instance, some STI’s are transmitted via skin-to-skin. So it is still possible to contract a STI, such as genital warts and genital herpes, while using a condom.

This does not mean skip the condom, but it does mean – be aware of changes and get checked!

Relationship Therapist & Sexologist Isiah McKimmie tells The Healthy Mummy: “Condoms are a good form of birth control and are helpful in protecting against STIs and blood borne viruses, however a condom may not protect you from all STIs,”

“STIs such as herpes, Human Papilloma Virus (HPV), genital lice and Syphilis are transmitted through skin to skin contact which isn’t prevented by a condom. Condoms should still be used however as they prevent they transmission of many other infections.”

5. Penetration Doesn’t Always Equal Orgasm

A majority of women will not orgasm based on penetration alone. This is totally normal!  So, one should not think that they are ‘weird’ or doing something wrong if they do not orgasm.

Skip the fake orgasm and talk to your partner about what works for you, and maybe try something different (for example manual stimulation of the clitoris)!

Then you will feel the Big Bang.

Ps. Orgasms can increase your chance of conception!

6. Oil Based Lubrication

First things first, lubrication can increase pleasure for everyone involved. So have a bottle in your bedside table.

But, be sure to avoid oil based lubricants, as these can weaken the latex of the condom causing it to break. Uh oh!

7. Getting pregnant on your period

Contrary to popular belief, you can actually fall pregnant whilst on your period. Sex Education teaches girls about how their bodies shed the uterine wall (and egg) during menstruation.

However,  it is important to be aware that there is a very small possibility that a sperm can still meet the egg in their travels, resulting in pregnancy.

sperm and egg

8. Sex Does Not Reflect Your Value

For a long time, there has been a view that men are worshipped for their  “sexual accomplishments” and women are shamed for the same thing.

In movies, TV shows and even on the radio, there is often bragging about a guy’s sexual accomplishments.  The more women he has the slept with the ‘cooler’ he is.  This paints a very unrealistic picture for young people of today and also provides unnecessary pressure on them.

Young teens and adults need to be reminded that sex isn’t a ‘numbers’ game. Whether you have one partner or many…that is up to you.

Just always remember to respect your partner and protect yourself!

9. Consent

Not only does no mean no. But yes, and then no,  also means no.

No from a man means no, as it does from a women. No does not mean, pursue further until you get a yes. It does not mean, manipulate me. No response also means no.

Sex is not something you take upon yourself to enact on another. Sex is the tango, between two people who both want to dance!

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written by:

Jessica Black

Jess is a fiercely passionate storyteller who is mad about fitness and wine drinking, usually not at the same time. She’s a freelance writer who juggles being a mummy to three and hospitality work. When she’s not busy tapping away on her keyboard with a smile on her face she’s chasing the kids or jogging on the beach.