10 things not to say to a pregnant woman

It seems that when you are pregnant, your body becomes the subject of conversation for all of those around you – even well meaning grannies at the checkout will give you their two cents.

And while most of the comments are kind and well-meaning, nearly all pregnant women have experienced some absolute doozies.

Many are not meant to be hurtful or upsetting, but for a woman experiencing the emotional rollercoaster of pregnancy hormones it can make them feel a bit deflated.

Now, the first rule should always be not to ask someone if they are pregnant, because if you’ve ever said that to someone who is NOT pregnant you will remember the look they gave you.

After avoiding that potential faux pas, here are:

10 other things not to say to someone who is pregnant

1.‘Wow, are you sure there’s only one in there?’

Yes, I’ve had the scan and it’s just the one. I already feel like a whale, thanks for reminding me just how vast I am.

2. ‘Did you conceive it naturally?’

Since when is it OK to ask me about whether or not I had sex to make the baby, or whether I had IVF, or whether I’ve been trying for five years or five minutes? It’s none of your business friend.

3.‘Wow, you don’t even look pregnant!’

Most people are probably trying to be nice by saying that you haven’t gained much weight. But every woman worries (constantly) whether their baby is healthy, and whether they have gained too little or too much weight. Why don’t we all just keep comments about size to ourselves, people.

4. ‘Have you chosen a name yet?’

Maybe I have but I’m certainly not telling you because then you’ll make a face and say ‘I went to school with a kid named that, and he was a real jerk.’

5. ‘Can I feel your belly?’

No. No you can’t.

6. ‘Are you sure you should be doing that?’

People seem to think they can offer their opinion on whether you should be lifting things (even a handbag – seriously there’s not that much money in it), driving, painting a door, eating cheese, working close to your due date, or going near the salami at the buffet. I’ve read all the literature and I’ve made my decisions on what I’m doing with my body, now back off!

7. ‘Oh wow, you still have ages to go then’

All a pregnant woman wants is to feel as though they will meet their baby soon. So when I say I’m 22 weeks, I want to hear positive comments like ‘wow you’re over halfway there – go girl!’

8. ‘Enjoy your sleep now, because you’ll never sleep again!’

No comments about how hard parenthood is will make a pregnant woman feel good. Especially over-exaggerated ones like this. How about something like ‘This will be the best thing that ever happened to you.’ See, that’s better.

9. ‘I bet your baby will be huge!’

Just because my husband is 6 foot 6 and my brother plays front row in the local rugby team doesn’t mean you need to be so cruel as to suggest that I will have a giant baby that will break me in two.

Women worry constantly about how their baby will make their exit, so there’s no need to add to their anxiety.

10. ‘When labour starts, what you want to do is…’

Get an epidural. Have a natural birth. Get your dad and his video camera in there. A woman’s birth plan is private and just because you did things a certain way doesn’t mean anyone else needs to hear about it. Case closed!

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