Mum of four Christie hasn’t always been the fit and confident person she is now.
This mum has lost 19kg on the 28 Day Weight Loss Challenge but before that, she was self-conscious, anxious and let her weight get in the way of loving herself.
“It took me years to embrace my body and flaws, it has been a long process that takes practice and persistence,” she says.
Read her story in her own words below…
How Christie taught herself and her daughters self-love and acceptance
Every time I have a negative thought about myself I find two positives and say them out loud to myself.
I often ask my girls to say something they love about themselves or something they are proud of that they have achieved, although I had never done that myself so I started doing it daily.
Now I openly talk about what I love about me! I have found that The Healthy Mummy community helped me build self-esteem and self-appreciation. It made it easier with the support of the women on the group.
I refuse to use certain words now such as fat, instead I remind myself why I have a mummy pouch and will look at it in the mirror and touch it which helps remind me exactly what that mummy pouch achieved, four amazing humans!
My daughters are very confident in themselves but society can still be persistent in creating small doubts in their absorbent little minds so we rid those doubts by talking! We talk openly about everything from weight issues to mental health and issues we have experienced such as suicide.
When it comes to their confidence I do believe it is because I do not always concentrate on beauty, of course I tell them they are beautiful on a daily basis but each of my children have talents and I foster those and encourage them to explore new avenues as well. I use ‘you are so talented’ and ‘you are so intelligent baby’ on a daily basis!
We also talk about how beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, races, ages and genders and our little quirks like our freckles or my c- section scar and stretch marks make us unique.
I ask my girls often what they love about themselves and at first they were so worried about sounding ‘up themselves’ but I have taught them self love and appreciation. It is not arrogance, it is understanding their value to the world and now they easily say what they love!
I only say things that are positive to my girls about my own body as well, we banned fat and skinny from the house and they are considered swearing. We use health related words instead, I NEVER talk about what I hate or what is disgusting, I never say ‘oh I’m so fat I’d love to lose weight’ it is always ‘I am eating better for my health now’ or something positive along those lines.
To see their mumma sit down and play with them and no longer hide my stomach or worry about them seeing my rolls has had an amazing impact on them and their own willingness to not cover up and hide away.
A new mindset
It is all mindset, if you find yourself talking bad about your own body or about others, stop and change your negative thought process to positive. Tell yourself you are worthy, tell yourself you have the right to feel beautiful and think of the things you love about you.
I love to have my eyelashes and nails done, I love to wear make up and get my hair done as well and I used to get told it was because I was lacking self confidence and I started to believe that but my self care is about doing these things for myself not because I have no confidence but because they make me feel great!
I feel great when I eat well and exercise, especially running lately, so my self care is physical things but they help me mentally and mental self care really is so vital for me and my self acceptance. When I am down and depressed it is a lot harder to love and appreciate me so they really all do go hand in hand.
I have to admit I still find that I compare myself to others occasionally but once again it is all about me changing the negative thoughts into positive, some days it is harder than others but I have learnt a lot these past few months and one thing I know is life is so short, I do not have time to waste worrying about how I measure up to others anymore because I think I spent the first 30 years of my life doing that all I need to focus on is my own journey and my 4 girls.
Advice to other mums
I will definitely use other people as my inspiration to keep going and to put one step in front of the other but I do not ‘wish’ I could be them or be like them or even be at the same level as them so much anymore.
My advice to other mums would be the same advice I was given by an amazing friend of mine, a fellow Healthy Mummy, Tamiara, she said to me ‘stop worrying about what other people think, what they say about you is none of your damn business!’.
It was like an ah-ha moment because all of the things I hated about myself, I realised I only hated because others had made me feel like I needed to apologise for them. Mummy pouches, c-section scars, stretch marks, a little extra weight and even my wide hips, I didn’t hate them really I just thought I had to because they weren’t deemed ‘beautiful’. But they are more than just beautiful, they are all what makes us mumma’s warriors!
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