R U Ok? It’s a simple enough question but one we often forget to ask ourselves or our fellow mums. As mums we put the needs of everybody else in our circle ahead of our own.
Today is R U Ok? Day and we at The Healthy Mummy are asking all mums to remember to put yourself first every once and a while because your whole family will benefit from you looking after yourself.
Some of the mums in our Healthy Mummy community shared how they have struggled with their mental health, and things they do to look after themselves.
Here’s what they had to say…
Mums share that’s it’s ok to not be ok and some self-care tips
“I know exactly what it’s like to not be ok.
I’ve been at rock bottom.
I’ve been that person who couldn’t find the joy in anything.
I’ve been the mum who couldn’t find the strength to get out of bed.
But thankfully I have an amazing support network around me who urged me to get help, who supported me through my toughest period ever and never once judged me.
It’s ok to not be ok, but it’s not ok to suffer in silence.
Reach out, you’re not weak for seeking help.
We are all in this together”
“R U OK?
Not just for today but for every day.
9.5 years ago my husband took his own life at the age of 30.
He left behind two beautiful children, 4 and 7 at the time, who have been changed forever because of this.
A wife who suffered a complete mental breakdown and came very close to ending her own life.
Family and friends asking why?
There were no obvious warning “signs”, he had support, love and people who would have done anything to help him……
From someone who was touched by suicide I’m here to tell you:
- A permanent choice to a problem that should be shared should never be an option
- Your loved ones would not be better off without you
- If you have children they will be forever changed
- You matter and you are loved”
“R U OK?
One thing I love about The Healthy Mummy is the community, are you ok, its ok if you are not ok reach out and we will hear you,being a mummy is a big job and sometimes hard and isolating,we all need a village and human contact. Please know there is always someone to hear you there are some links below to check out as well.
Did you know?
- Approximately 8 people die by suicide every day in Australia.
- Every one of these lives lost represents someone’s partner, child, parent, friend or workmate.
- For every death, it’s estimated at least another 30 attempt to end their own life.
- It doesn’t discriminate. Suicide occurs across demographics.
- Take a moment to ask today and every day R U OK you may save a life.
Some tools I like to use for mental health are, taking time out for me,planning and going on holidays also my SKIN range and last but not least meditation on the app. Not only do these activities make me feel good,they remind me I am important I am worth the time these things take,they allow me to fill my jug so I can continue to fill my family’s glasses. Each and every day. Lean on your family and friends if you need to that is what we are there for. Just ask for help. Xox”
Nicole Deakes Brown
“R U OK day is TODAY.
I have suffered Postnatal Depression.
I am currently suffeting PTSD, anxiety and depression and let me tell you its damn hard at times.
I use to be embarrassed to suffer from these, ask ‘why me’ and ‘what did I do to deserve this’.
I often put on a brave face, especiallyfor my girls, I pretend everything is ok until its not and I fall in a heap.
I’m thankful for my beautiful girls, my family and friends who give me so much support.
I see a psychologist who also helps me through my struggles.
How are you all doing?
How are your family and friends?
I know how hard it is yo reach out and ask for help but once I was ready it was the best decision I made.
Some days are sooo hard that I dont want to get out of bed.
Try and take some time out for you today, you may just go for a walk, pop a face mask on, do some meditation using the Mind, Body, Breath on the app.
Let’s focus on Mental Health today.”
“As someone who has suffered from depression for over 7 years now this one is close to my heart.
It took me a very long time to even realise what was going on. I thought it’s just called being a new mum until I couldn’t go on any longer and finally reached out for help.
Still to this day do I battle my inner demons daily and they do get the better of me sometimes.
Looking after your mental health is so very important and priority number one.
Please make sure you are ok and ask for help if you feel like you need it.”
“Today is R U Ok day? So let me ask you, R U OK? Like really ok? If you aren’t that is ok but let’s talk about it.
R U OK day means so much to me and my family especially my 15 year old daughter.
Exactly 6 months ago today one of her friends committed suicide. I also classed her as one of my daughter’s and would do anything for her. She was over at our house and was so happy, I honestly didn’t see any signs and even to this day, I still look back and wonder if I missed something anything.
We dropped her back off at her house later that night and about 8 hours later I get a phone call that even now I remember it so clearly. Her sister found her in the morning and she had done something that I thought I would never have to deal with or my 15 year old would ever have to deal with in her life. My daughter is still heartbroken and she cries all the time.
I worry about her all the time now and don’t like her out of my sight as I am so scared that something will happen to her. We talk all the time we have an amazing relationship but it is still so scary.
We don’t know why she did what she did as honestly she had everything in life going for her (or so we thought), But clearly there was something underlying that was going on that she didnt feel she could talk to anyone about.
Please please please if you are feeling in any way that you cant cope PLEASE reach out to someone, anyone because I understand that you are hurting but what you leave behind is so much pain and hurt as well. I am here always if anyone ever wants to talk.”
Thank you to all these beautiful and brave ladies for sharing their story with us, we love you all!
Where to get help
If you feel depressed or are suffering from depression and or anxiety, we advise you to seek help from your GP or call Lifeline 13 11 14, Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Australia [PANDA] 1300 726 306 or Beyond Blue 1300 22 46 36.
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