Having a new baby and becoming a mum, especially for the first time, is such a huge life change. You’re exhausted, shocked, overjoyed, vulnerable and even a little sensitive.
It’s times like these that the best things to do for a new mum are to bring a home-cooked meal, say congratulations and just listen.
Some comments, often made with the best of intentions, can go down like a lead balloon. With that in mind, we present a list of things that people should never, ever say to a new mum!
Never say these 11 things to a new mum
1. “This too shall pass.”
Always a favourite phrase to throw around, especially to a new mum. It may be true, but when you’re knee deep in sleep deprivation with a screaming baby, all you want is for someone to listen to your pity party, not shut down any possible vent that you need.
2. “Sleep when baby sleeps.”
And what, eat when baby eats? Fold the clothes when baby folds the clothes? Make dinner when baby makes the dinner? You catch my drift, right?
If I sleep when baby sleeps, then who is going to tend to the other thousands of things that need doing, especially if this baby is not the first and there are toddlers or preschoolers who need your attention?
3. “Your Mummy is so naughty!”
If you disagree with a decision made by a new mum, never mock her by joking to the baby “Your mummy is such a bad mummy’ or ‘Your mummy is such a silly billy!’ Not. Okay. Ever!
4. “Don’t worry about the housework.”
Of course, we shouldn’t stress too much about the housework and focus instead on our new baby. But, if we don’t worry, then who will?
5. “When are you going to start trying for another baby?”
Let us enjoy our new baby for a while first! Chances are we haven’t had a shower for the past three days and can’t remember the last time we shaved our legs. The last thing on our minds is trying to conceive a new baby – and it certainly shouldn’t be on yours either!
6. “But it goes so fast, cherish these moments.”
Yes, it does go fast and we do cherish our beautiful children. Yet, there are moments that we wouldn’t mind fast forwarding; like the months of sleep deprivation and later the toddler tantrums that are so excessive we feel we can’t leave the house.
We actually don’t have to love every minute. Support us in our whinge, we still love our babies!
7. “You’ve got a little something on your top.”
So I’ve left my baby at home for the first time, I’ve spent an hour fretting over what to wear and finally got myself out to attend your birthday lunch.
Ignore that tiny bit of spit up on my top and tell me how lovely I look please?
8. “What did you do ALL day?”
Husbands, I’m looking at you!
What did she do all day? I kept your offspring alive and did it fabulously!
Run her a bath and tell her she is amazing!
9. “I wish I got to just hang out all day having coffee.”
No. Just no.
10. “When are you returning to work?”
I have just fallen in love in a way I never knew imaginable and I am terrified of leaving her for even 10 minutes.
I may decide to be a stay-at-home mum. But for now, let me revel in the amazingness of this new little human!
11. “You shouldn’t hold him so much, you will spoil him.”
Spoil him? The only things that spoil are milk and eggs. He is a baby!