Mental Health

How to silence that inner voice that says you can’t

We all have that inner voice that creeps into our psyche and tells us we aren’t good enough, we don’t deserve happiness, we can’t do this, we should just give up. If this sounds like you, keep reading to discover how you can mute this voice and move forward!

Tips to help you silence that inner voice of negativity

Photo by João Jesus from Pexels

Have your own cheering squad!

Take a moment to gain some clarity because it may be the most beneficial thing you do today.

Close your eyes and mentally flick through the chapters of your life, like you’re browsing a book. Who is consistently popping up in those chapters as supportive, non-judgemental, caring or unconditional in their love for you? Call on these people for their opinions and draw on their support when you doubt yourself.

Most of us will be lucky enough to have one person to turn to. Some may have a few more. Unfortunately, some will have none. The Healthy Mummy Facebook support groups can be your cheering squad and have uplifted and supported hundreds of thousands of women who are going through this journey too.

Which YOU do you feed?

Most of us have multiple sides to our state of minds; one part of you may be angry, jealous, fearful, sad, self-pitying, full of pride or resentment and that’s only the surface. Another side may be the polar opposite- joy, happiness, humility, kindness, compassion, truth, generosity or love. You have a choice over which side is winning. It’s the side that you feed.

If you look at yourself in the mirror and think you’re never going to be able to change, chances are you won’t because thinking this way feeds that negative side to your state of mind.

If you look in the mirror and think you’re not where you want to be now but you will get there, you will. It might not be tomorrow or next month, but commitment, consistency and kindness do pay off.     

Plan and action

Write the answers down to these questions for clarity:

  1. Where do you want to be? Be specific with a goal weight, dress size or measurements. It can be short or long term goals.
  2. How will you feel when you achieve this? Try to really think about what you’re getting out of putting yourself through hell and back! Is it a sexier body, more energy, better self-esteem- don’t be embarrassed or scared to write down your honest thoughts.
  3. Are there any perceived barriers? It could be the kids routine, your self-esteem, perhaps it’s a financial obstacle or a problem with your relationship. It may be uncomfortable to explore these thoughts however you won’t be able to challenge and overcome your obstacles if you aren’t willing to face up to them.
  4. What’s the plan? You’ve figured out the issue so think actively about what can you do to work through it or get around it. If your issue is the kids routine, organise picks up by friends or family, consider after-school care. If it’s financial or a relationship problem, seek outside objective help to fix the issue.

Make sure you remind yourself to act on these plans and actions. You are worth the effort and investment. 

Need more motivation, here are 6 tips to get and stay motivated.

Here are three ways to create a positive mindset.

Conquer your negative self-talk and tackle your 2019 goals.

Get extra support by joining our amazing community of mums just like you.

Join one of our communities today.

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written by:

Shara Smith

Shara is a psychotherapist and a counsellor, who has over 12 years experience in the mental health, life coaching and self-care sector. While she loves her husband and three kids, she also loves watching re-runs of Sex in the City and baking decadent cookies that only she gets to eat.