As a new mum, your thoughts can be a bit of a jumble. Love, tiredness, hunger, tiredness, joy, and a bit more tiredness. But sometimes there are thoughts that you have that you realise are better kept to yourself.
The good news is – you’re not alone!
1. I wish my baby looked more like me
When a baby looks like dad instead of mum, it feels so unfair. After all, you did all of the hard work and this is the thanks you get? Apparently it is a bit of evolution coming into play – baby looks like dad and because mum loves dad, mum will love the baby too. Pretty cool actually.
2. What was I thinking having a second child?
It is really hard juggling a newborn and an older child. It’s natural to feel as though you are neglecting your eldest, as you just can’t spend as much one on one time with them anymore.
During the early days with a newborn, surviving is thriving. So if your older child watches a bit more TV than you’d like so that you can focus on the baby, then so be it. Eventually, you will find your groove.
3. I thought I was meant to love you right away?
So many mums tell you about how you will feel the love from the moment you meet your baby. But this isn’t always the case. It can take hours, days, or even weeks for you to feel the love. But when you do – it’s truly wonderful. You feel just like your heart might burst.
If you feel like you are just not bonding with your baby and it’s been some time, speak with your doctor or baby health nurse. You can also try spending some time looking after yourself too, as this will help you feel more like yourself.
4. When did I last have a shower?
Wearing the same clothes for days on end, and being unsure of the last time you washed – this is all normal new mum behaviour too.
It’s all well and good for people to say sleep when the baby sleeps, or shower before the baby wakes, but sometimes this isn’t possible. Especially if your family likes to have some clean underwear, or eat food from time to time.
But the truth is, showering can wait and if you’d rather cuddle your bub than wash your hair, nobody is going to judge you.
5. My baby is by far the cutest
When you first hit mother’s group at around 6 weeks post partum, you will meet a stack of other new mums and their little bundles of joy.
It’s only natural to look around and check out the other babies, thinking things like ‘wow that one looks like an old man’ or ‘my goodness, my baby is so much cuter than all of these kids.’
It might be the feel-good mother hormones kicking in, but seeing our child as the potential Best & Less model from day one is pretty much normal.
Often when you look back years later at your child’s newborn photos, you’ll see that they were probably quite a lot more normal than you thought at the time.
6. What do you want from me?
You’ve fed them, rocked them, burped them, kissed them, cuddled them, fed them again – and yet they are screaming the house down and sleep seems like a distant memory.
Pretty much every new mum has done the silent scream in the middle of the night ‘what does this kid want? I have nothing else to give!’
But remember, everything seems worse in the middle of the night. The morning sun often brings renewed feelings of love (and hopefully, some sleep after the morning feed).
7. I wish he would remember these newborn days
Many a mum has wished that their child remembered what it was like to be a newborn. Having someone tend to our every need, being fed to sleep, patted and rocked endlessly, pushed around in a pram with a comfy onesie on – sounds blissful!
It’s also perfectly natural when you are in the midst of sleep deprivation to wish that someone would come over, pick you up, and pat your bottom until you fell asleep.
8. I could just walk away right now and never come back
This new mother gig is HARD WORK. People don’t tell you that some days you will be so jealous of your partner going off to work (with a lunch break! And adult conversation!) or that you will fantasise about having a day to yourself.
Many mums feel so exhausted and sleep deprived that the idea of literally running away sounds rather tempting. Once again, this is very common and usually means that you are running on empty.
Try speaking to your partner and friends to see if they can give you a hand to find an hour to yourself for a haircut (or even a walk around the block on your own) to recharge your batteries.
9. Will my lady parts ever go back to normal?
Every woman wonders whether she will ever be the same downstairs after baby has made their entrance. For some women, birth has meant stitches, surgery, tears, stretching and scars.
When you think about it, having a baby is pretty amazing and the idea that your body will just go back to normal quickly is pretty unrealistic.
But truthfully, there is a very good chance that your lady parts will soon return to their old self (although jumping on a trampoline is not advised due to the risk of a little bit of wee escaping!).
While you’re waiting – pelvic floor exercises are your friend.
10. Oh, she’s stopped crying, I’ll take a photo for Facebook
We all want our friends and family to see how gorgeous our baby is. So when there is a lull in the crying, you grab your camera and snap away until you get just the right pic to share.
Don’t worry, all your other mum-friends will know that you took this photo with some vomit on your shoulder, and then your baby had a nappy explosion right after.
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