Congratulations! You’re pregnant. And you’re ready for this exciting chapter in your life. But before you enjoy these nine months of bliss, we thought we would share a few pearls of wisdom with you and all other expecting mums out there.
These are things you’ll quickly learn when you’re expecting. We’ve been there. We’ve done it. And we lived to laugh about it. Now it’s your turn. Good luck!
What to expect when you’re expecting…. the real version
Glowing skin. Budding breasts. Expanding belly. Ah yes, pregnancy is all about embracing the beauty that becomes you.
Except, of course, when you turn into a sweaty, stinky, swollen, emotional mess who cannot go three minutes without needing to pee, having to vomit or wanting to throw a tennis ball at your husband’s head for bringing home the wrong dessert.
Here are the lesser-known truths about the joys of pregnancy. And we’ve rolled them all into one neat package for your reading pleasure.
1. Midday naps become completely acceptable.
During the first trimester, if you make it through the day without having a nap, then you’re winning at pregnancy. Because exhaustion reaches a whole new level during those early days when your body is working overtime.
2. You can no longer watch television without having a box of tissues beside you.
Because you will cry at pretty much everything. RSPCA commercials are by far the worst. If you see one coming on, look away or risk wanting to adopt every single dog and cat you come across.
3. Your stomach will hate you.
Dear stomach. Please make up your mind about what foods you like and what foods you don’t.
Because no one wants to spend an hour cooking a meal that ends up being thrown up fifteen minutes later.
4. Your skin will pretty much hate you too.
Some days it will be so dry you will go through a tube of moisturiser and still look like a peeling snake. The next, you will have so much sweat gushing from your pores you will think you’ve just run a marathon.
5. Non-caffeinated and non-alcoholic drinks actually taste pretty good.
Like green tea. And lemonade. And water. Who knew?
6. Your WHOLE ENTIRE BODY SWELLS.
Seriously. It’s not just your stomach and your breasts. It’s your bum, your ankles, your lips, your cheeks, your hands, your feet, the veins on your legs, even your vagina.
7. Walking to the toilet becomes a completely valid form of exercise.
When you waddle back and forth to the loo 45 times an hour, you’re bound to reach your 10,000 steps by midday.
8. Online shopping is the smartest move ever.
Buying crap you probably don’t need from your couch? Yes please.
9. It will feel like an alien is living inside you.
Only in pregnancy can you watch a foot poke from the skin of your stomach and think it’s completely normal.
10. Clothes are overrated.
Being pregnant, sweaty and naked on the lounge is pretty much the norm, especially if you’re expecting a summer baby.
11. You will start to feel like all seven dwarfs wrapped into one.
You can thank your hormones for your new multiple personalities. Except the traditional fellas from Disney’s classic film are replaced by the pregnant version – Sweaty, Sleepy, Swelly, Hungry, Gassy, Dopey and Bloaty.
Oh, and Bitchy. She’s the eighth pregnancy dwarf. And she’s the leader.
The Healthy Mummy Pregnancy Smoothie
The Healthy Mummy Pregnancy Smoothie is a convenient and easy supplementary food, designed to complement your existing pregnancy vitamins or supplements, to help you meet the extra protein, vitamin and mineral requirements during your pregnancy.
Please read below for all the information on the smoothie – you can also see the FAQ on the smoothie here.
The pregnancy smoothie is also free of all chemicals, fillers and artificial ingredients, has no fructose in, no added sugar and uses high quality dairy protein sourced from grass fed cows in New Zealand.
Purchase your Healthy Mummy Pregnancy Smoothie here.