Single mummyhood can be a lonely journey. And a challenging one. But it also comes with plenty of perks. So, to all the single mummas out there, let’s take a moment and reflect on the positives that come with parenting without a partner.
Relationship Status: Single Mum and Spectacular
No one chooses to have children with someone they plan on breaking up with. But it happens. And it happens more than 50 per cent of the time.
But, when you leave an unhappy relationship, you will hopefully come out stronger, happier and ready to take on more than just the insects in your bathroom.
So here are 14 reasons why, contrary to popular belief, being a single mum doesn’t suck at all. In fact, it’s kind of an awesome way to go.
You get the occasional day or weekend off.
Not always the case, but for many single mums, you do get a break from the kids when they are with their dad. And while this can be incredibly hard (and heart-breaking, especially at the start), there is a light at the end of the lonely tunnel – you get time to yourself, to unwind, to do the things you want to do.
Then, when the kids return, you are refreshed, recharged and more than ready to lavish them with the attention and energy that you don’t always have when you are constantly with them.
You get to find yourself again.
Not “us”. But “you”.
When you’re in an unhealthy relationship it can feel like you lose who you are. You lose your voice, your confidence, your personality and your sense of self.
But when you get rid of the negativity and toxicity, you can start to find that inner self again. In time, your confidence and your sense of self-worth come back.
You get to do things the way you want to do.
There’s no need to run plans by someone else. And there’s no one to argue against your ideas, even if they are slightly insane.
You get to parent the way you want to. There’s no more clashing and no more need to compromise. You’re the boss.
You don’t have to hide impulse buys.
Yes. I bought new shoes. And a new dress. And a new bathing suit. None of which have to be hidden in the back of my closet.
You have less housework.
There’s one less person to bring unwanted dirt into the house, to cook for and to clean up after.
You have more room in your closet.
You know, for the shoes, dresses and bathing suits that you no longer have to hide.
You discover just how strong you are.
You discover that you not only can do it (and survive), but you can do it solo (and kill it).
You don’t have to pretend.
Staying together “for the kids” is not always the best, especially when you have to live your life pretending to be happy.
You say goodbye to the BS.
When you’re a single mum, you give up a lot of the B.S that comes on the side of an unhealthy relationship.
You gain a sense of independence.
Not only is this independence good for you, but it’s good for your kids to see it. And every mother wants to be a good role model for their kids.
You get another chance at love.
Your love life doesn’t have to stop once you get divorced. And, while the dating game can be grim and downright awkward at times, it can also be a fun adventure.
You learn new tricks.
Like how to kill bugs without just putting a cup over them and waiting for your husband to come home. And how to put a kid’s bike together. And how to fill up the lawn mower with fuel.
Sounds stupid, I know, but before I was a single mum, I didn’t even bother trying to learn these things. Sure, it took me 15 hours (and a bottle of wine) to put together my daughter’s play kitchen, but, hey, I did it. And it looks fantastic!
You learn to be happy again.
There are so many legal, financial and emotional obstacles to overcome when you become a single parent. There are days filled with doubts, nights filled with tears and weekends filled with bitter fights.
But, it does get better. When you get rid of the toxicity that comes with a bad relationship, you may discover what you actually want and how you can find peace and happiness again.
And, most of all, you discover that when you’re happy, your kids are happy.
Yes, seeing mum and dad, happy, together, is ideal. But sometimes this isn’t possible. And it’s always better to see mum and dad happy, even if they are not together. A happy family doesn’t always stay within the confines of one household. Two happy homes are more beneficial to your kids than one unhappy one.
Divorce and separation are never easy. Here are tips to help you handle such situations when you have kids.