While it looks like a beautiful bonding experience that many mums adore, the act of feeding your child with your breasts isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be.
And we’re not just talking about those crazy moments when you’re running around the house chasing a toddler who has scissors with one of your boobs hanging out!
Here are 11 not-so-glamorous but completely normal things to know about breastfeeding…
**However you decide to feed your baby, we at The Healthy Mummy support all forms of feeding your baby**
11 not-so-glam things about breastfeeding
1. More pokes than Facebook
Never in your life will your breasts be poked, prodded and moved about like they are non-compliant bowls of jelly.
Midwives, lactation consultants and even well-meaning family members get in on the action and have a grab while helping you to get that perfect latch.
2. A bit of fresh air
Much like a baby’s bottom needs a break from nappies, so too do your breasts from the smothering effects of nipple guards and maternity bras.
It’s not uncommon to find a breastfeeding mum airing her boobs while catching up on some laundry or watching her favourite TV series.
3. Under pressure
If you’re ample bosomed you will often find yourself shaking your head in disbelief that your breast is actually four times larger than your newborn’s head. True story!
4. About to explode
When you’ve had a night away and your breast pump died and you’ve tried expressing with your hands in a hot shower and OH MY GAWD the feeling you’re about to explode like that cheeky purple girl in that movie Charlie and The Chocolate Factory.
5. You almost need a crane
Such is the weight of your milk-laden breasts, especially when you’re overdue to feed baby. You may even toy with the idea of hiring a crane to manoeuvre your boobs from room-to-room for you!
6. Always on guard
If someone is staring at you funny, you automatically think that you’re breasts are leaking and you have big wet patches on your shirt.
Truth be told they’re probably just staring because your shirt is actually on inside out and your skirt is tucked into your knickers!
7. Oh sweet relief
That amazing feeling of relief you get once baby is overdue for a feed and finally latches and sucks furiously.
Sure, it makes your uterus contract and toes curl in pain, but also helps reduce the feeling that you’re about to burst like an over-sized balloon.
8. Cracked nipples
When you’ve got mastitis but a silly doctor tells you to keep feeding because ‘it will help’ so every time baby drinks you want to faint in pain.
You now know what it feels like to have ground glass smothered in to your nipples. SHUDDER.
9. Chomping on the wrong part!
When you are so exhausted and baby starts to slide off your breast and begin chewing or chomping around your nipple and you don’t realise until they are cracked and you are bleeding!
10. Those pesky teeth
Hell hath no fury like a breastfeeding mum who has a child that purposely chomps or bites their nipple when they are cranky or ready for the other breast.
Young babies with budding teeth can be forgiven for biting but oh the pain!
11. No clothes to wear
Now your boobs are about four times their usual size none of your tops fit anymore and those that do are so tight across the chest you give Pammy Anderson a run for her money.
Wave goodbye to those lovely shoestring straps and off the shoulder numbers!
But despite all these epic fails that might happen while you’re nursing, nothing beats watching your baby nuzzling on your breasts and you knowing that you are giving him or her the vital vitamins he or she needs.
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