Parenting

9 things that mums should never apologise for

When I first became a mother, I seemed to apologise for so many things every day. I noticed that I apologised for the way I looked, my child’s behaviour, for opposing parental views and the state of my house.

The minute you become a parent, our every move seems to be a hot topic for others to comment on, advise us, criticise or correct us.

Cassie with kids

I think we should say “no more!” No more apologising for being a mother, for having children, or for living or parenting the way we chose to.

1. The state of your home

I hate house work and with three young children that follow me around undoing everything as I do. I find excuses not to clean because it’s such a thankless job with little people around. However, whenever someone visits I feel ashamed about the state of my home. The reality is, my home (and most homes) are not a show home – they need to look lived in and not perfect.

2. The state of yourself

Especially in those early days. If you haven’t showered for three days, or throw your hair in a bun to hide that it hasn’t been brushed, don’t stress! We have all been there and we will all be there again. And hey, isn’t that why they call deodorant a ‘shower in a can’?

3. The state of your car

Most cars I’ve been in that taxi around multiple ankle biters are full of toys, food, rubbish and sand on the back seat. I wish I had a pristine car, but right now, my kids collect rocks and flowers. They discard their apples and water bottles and a clean car just ain’t going to happen!

4. Children being children

9 things mums should not apologise for

Ever noticed that we, as a society, tend to expect our children to act as adults? Funny story… They aren’t adults! They are learning still learning, so don’t apologise or feel bad if they don’t get it right straight up!

5. Parenting choices

They are choices for a reason. As long as your child is healthy, safe and loved you should not have to justify the way you chose to parent? Do whatever works for your family… Its your choice!

6. A baby being a baby

She is crying. She has a stinky nappy. She needs to feed in public. Don’t fret! Don’t be embarrassed. Don’t let someone shame you. She is a BABY… its natural!

7. Baby spam

I’ve noticed lots of non-parent friends stopped following me on social media once I had children. I used to apologise for my baby spam, but… the more kids I’ve had (3 altogether), the more I realised… who cares! I made this little person. Its my biggest achievement. Of course I am going to overshare!

8. Feeding

Alicia breastfeeding
Healthy mummy Alicia breastfeeding

In every aspect. Boobs, bottle, in public, under a wrap, solids early, solids late. Is your baby happy? Yes? Amazing! Keep going

9. Social commitments

Finding that you’re a no show more than you would have thought? Once you have children, you live by a new clock. Wrapped in a baby bubble, or running by your child’s social calendar. Too exhausted. No babysitters. Whatever the reason, there is a reason. Even if it is just wanting to lay on the couch with no bra, a glass of wine and zone out with your husband.

Cut yourself some slack mums. Stop apologising! Once you do, I bet you will feel so much lighter!

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written by:

Jessica Black

Jess is a fiercely passionate storyteller who is mad about fitness and wine drinking, usually not at the same time. She’s a freelance writer who juggles being a mummy to three and hospitality work. When she’s not busy tapping away on her keyboard with a smile on her face she’s chasing the kids or jogging on the beach.