17 Signs You’re Still In The Trenches Of Parenting

While we mums hate hearing it, there is a lot of truth to the adage ‘the days are long but the years are short’. But it’s usually said by someone with older kids who only has one bottom to wipe and it’s their own! Here are 17 signs you’re still in the trenches of parenting.

15 Signs You’re Still In The Trenches Of Parenting

17 Signs You’re Still In The Trenches Of Parenting

1. You still have plastic things in your power points so one of your kids doesn’t shove a fork in there.

2. Sunblock is the bain of your existence and you are the one who has to apply it to kids screaming like banshees.

3. Before guests arrive you have to quickly check the state of your loo to ensure it’s in a respectable state.

4. You have more than one bottom to wipe, often as many as THREE!

5. Permanent markers must be kept in a locked cupboard so they aren’t used to decorate your couch.

6. There are night lights at various points around your house.

7. You’ve had to stop mid-plank during a PT session at the park because your 2 and 4-year-old are munching on half-eaten gum from the nearby bushes (true story).

8. Play dough is banned because it’s been stuffed up orifices and used as fish food.

15 Signs You’re Still In The Trenches Of Parenting

9. There are piles of sand at random spots throughout your house from shoes and pockets.

10. The lollies at the supermarket checkout, particularly Chupa Chups are public enemy number one.

11. Car seats, ugh, when will they learn to do them up themselves?

12. Your pulse starts to race when your house is silence because it means they are in your bathroom opening feminine hygiene products.

13. You spend half your day saying ‘use your words’!

14. Tantrums are a part of your daily life and are almost expected at the supermarket, the doctor’s surgery and at bedtime.

15. There is a packet of baby wipes in every room of your home, the car and your handbag.

16. You’re tempted to feed your kids on the floor because that’s where most of the food ends up.

17. Playgrounds and parks are annoying because you have to push kids on swings and help toddlers down slides.

Have you got a toddler who loves a good tantrum, here are 11 secrets to taming them! Or read this if you’ve got a youngster going through the terrible twos?

Did you know that there’s a Healthy Mummy Kids Smoothie?

kids smoothie tub

We’re so excited about the launch of our new Kids Chocolate Smoothie!

With NO added sugar, this is a great and healthy alternative to Milo and other chocolate drinks and is PACKED with goodness!

  • The Healthy Mummy Kids Smoothie is rich in carbohydrates and protein and is a natural energy packed smoothie made for kids.
  • It contains 16 essential vitamins and minerals and when combined with milk, provides children with 50% of their Calcium RDI. 
  • It also contains probiotics needed for healthy guts and is free from fructose.


written by:

Emily Toxward

When former journalist Emily Toxward isn’t wrangling her three kids she’s juggling the demands writing and failing fabulously at being a domestic goddess. A published writer for nearly 20 years, Emily left full-time work in 2008 to have children and write from home. Always on the go, she spends her days negotiating with an army of little people she created and visits her local Gold Coast beaches for a little sanity.