Childbirth is an intimate and special event that we experience with those we love. We’re extremely grateful to be able to share an incredibly positive birth story written by a Healthy Mummy community member to her son. Have a tissue nearby, it’s a pretty powerful read.
Your Last Few Days In My Womb
Coming to the end of our 39 weeks together, I was still holding you in the safety of my womb but there was a determination within me that this night was going to be our last night as a family of four. I could feel that you were coming.
There had been a tightening across my stomach for days now and on this night, something felt different. I did not want to say the words out loud, I did not want to interrupt your concentration, your journey into the world.
Before wrapping myself up in the depths of my doona for a night of sleep, I found myself readying the house for labour and packing my bags for hospital.
I found myself waiting. Waiting for life to begin. I crawled into bed just after midnight and drifted off into an impatient sleep.
It Was Time For Your Journey
Within the hour I woke to an intensity that would not leave me. I was sure that this was the beginning, however this intense tightening was not slowing down, five minutes had passed and the pain became just increased.
I made my way to the bathroom in shock and confusion. Then took to bed again telling daddy I must just have an upset stomach. As I lay my head down to rest again another tightening began.
No, this was not going to stop, we had a job to do today.
As each sensation hit my body, I knew that you were peeling back another layer of my cervix to work your way closer to me. We were very calm, quiet and peaceful.
The house was dark, lit only by fairy lights. I found my position on the ground in front of the lounge and I timed us. They were already five minutes apart and lasting 45 seconds and rapidly increasing.
The Waiting Game
After two hours I began to feel pressure within my pelvis. I remained calm, breathing and moaning my way through your movements. Chatting and drinking teas in your breaks.
Still extremely calm and a little deterred by the calmness, questioning whether this was really our moment. I put some TV on as a distraction and a comfort, but before I could invest any interest, I decided it was time to take ourselves to the hospital.
It Didn’t Go According To Plan
So daddy and I made our way across the road, stopping on several occasions to allow my body to feel you. When we made it to the hospital the tightening became much stronger and I begged to get into the bath.
From the moment I immersed my body into that all-encompassing warm water my mind and body calmed.
Before long, the torturous feelings grew less and less. I was back to just moaning through the feelings, rather than the primitive noises I had begun to make. Something wasn’t quite right.
The bath was slowing us down, the bath relaxed me too much and my body closed down. I was working against you or you were working with me? We were too relaxed.
For several hours I waited in the bath, hoping that things would change. I really wanted to deliver you in the calmness of the water. But as with most things planned, this was not meant to be.
Things Get Real
As the sun rose, so did I. I removed myself from the water and I laid on the bed to check my progress. We had not moved from when we first arrived, still at five centimetres.
The midwives offered to break our waters, to which I agreed. After the procedure I was hit with wave after wave of sensations, tightening, intensities. I could not find a 10-second break between contractions to catch my breath.
In transition, I lost my calm. I was rolling off the bed onto a mattress on the ground, trying to gather myself only to collapse to again.
On Losing My Way Before Finding My Calm
I could not calm and I began to beg for relief, screaming at daddy that I cannot do this, please get me help. As I started to vomit, I lost every inch of faith I had in myself and requested an epidural.
The midwives attempted to give me a cannula to prepare me, but I was unable to stay still, rolling and vomiting.
After what felt like a lifetime, they checked my progress and advised there would not be time.
Within an hour of breaking my waters, you were ready to make your way through the birth canal. In that moment, I finally found my breath, my centre.
I propped myself up on the bed and with sheer will and determination I knew that I could do this.
On Your Magical Arrival
Our pushing was magical. It was primal and animalistic. It was raw. I had fight and you had strength.
I had determination and you had love.
It was time, after nine months of growing, building, creating, loving and bonding, it was our time to see each other.
You, tiny and naked, wailing and searching for me.
Me, exhausted and exhilarated, arms wide open to embrace you.
We pushed, we fought hard, we connected and within four huge, powerful and inspiring movements you were in the air before me.
You were tiny, you were man, you were mine.
My Heart Began To Beat With Yours
I saw you and my body beamed love. You were the most beautiful boy. You were fair of hair, you were small of build, you were loving of soul.
As looked at me and your daddy, there was no doubt you knew and loved us completely and intensely.
You were placed, your bare skin, on my bare skin and in that moment you imprinted on my soul. In that moment my life became yours, my heart begun to beat with yours.
You made me the mother to a son.
To my darling son, the love that I had for you on this day, for your 8 pound little body, is nothing compared to the love that has grown in the past 2-and-a-half years.
You make me beam with pride!
Thank you so much for sharing this intimate account of when you met your son for the first time Asher.
We love sharing stories from women in the Healthy Mummy community and we’d love to hear yours if you would like to tell it.