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She’s got a resume that most of us could only dream about – international supermodel, actress, author and producer – but Gisele Bundchen has revealed the role of becoming a mum made her question everything about herself.
In her memoir, Lessons: My Path to a Meaningful Life, the Brazilian beauty admits she had a hard time adjusting to motherhood and that it left her feeling lost and confused at times.
“Things can be looking perfect on the outside, but you have no idea what’s really going on,” the 38-year-old, who is married to NFL star Tom Brady, said in an excerpt shared with People.
“I felt like maybe it was time to share some of my vulnerabilities, and it made me realise, everything I’ve lived through, I would never change because I think I am who I am because of those experiences.”
Gisele: ‘It was like a part of me died’
Gisele, who is mum to Benjamin, eight, Vivian, five, and her stepson Jack, 11, says the transition into motherhood was incredibly challenging for her.
“When I became a mom (sic), I kind of lost myself. It was like a part of me died. I’d been this very independent person,” she says.
“It was all about me. But now I had this little being, and I suddenly felt l couldn’t do other things and that was very hard for me. All I ever wanted was to be a mom, but when you’re actually experiencing that, it’s a shock.”
The beauty says she felt guilty for leaving her kids to go to work
Gisele says she tried to scale back the work because she felt guilty for leaving her kids – something many mums can relate to.
“I had all this horrible, self-imposed guilt. I thought what a terrible mother I was for leaving my child even for like a day,” she says.
When she would bring her children along on jobs she admits, “I was feeling guilty for that too. Like, ‘Here we are on a plane and the baby is crying.’ ”
The Victoria’s Secret angel says the transition also took its toll on her marriage.
“You’re overwhelmed and tired and then you’re not the nicest partner,” she says, before adding it took time but she eventually found her groove and adjusted.
“When the kids were very young, there were times when I felt overwhelmed or conflicted, sometimes a little depressed, though I tried my best to be strong. I felt the massive new responsibility of motherhood. I wanted to do my best, and to do it right,” she adds.
“The thing is, I was an experienced mom, in on-the-job- training, plus I sometimes felt torn since I knew I had so much more I wanted to create in the world.
“Now that the kids are older and in school, I know that soon I’ll be ready to begin climbing another mountain. I’ve never lived in The Valley for this long, but I wouldn’t give back the time I spent there for anything. My children have given me a greater sense of purpose and motivation.”
Getting The Support You Need
Becoming a parent releases all kinds of emotions and hormones and even some you didn’t even know existed.
One in seven women in Australia suffers from postnatal depression and one in ten new fathers also experience postnatal depression, says Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia (PANDA).
If you or someone you know is struggling, then remember you are not alone. Have a look at our story on what every mum who has experienced PND needs to hear as well as our postnatal depression archives for ways to get the help you deserve.
For more on the signs and symptoms of postnatal depression visit www.panda.org.au.
Support
PANDA National Helpline www.panda.org.au – 1300 726 306
Beyond Blue www.beyondblue.org.au 1300 224 636
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